New Love in Tokyo (1994)

This is a weird movie. Plenty of nudity and sex since it's about two prostitutes (ok, ok, one is a dominatrix) who become friends. You see them going about their daily lives, dating men who don't know about their profession and the dominatrix wants to be an actress. Uh, yeah, I've never seen a film quite like this, and I'm not really sure what to make of it.

It's not really pinky violence since there isn't any killing or bloodshed or anything. There is a little subplot about a psycho who is hurting prostitutes, but that's just a tiny part. I guess this is a realistic portrayal of a prostitute's life? It shows how dangerous their profession can be, and the dominatrix gets an STD at one point, which is bad news for her theater buddies since she regularly fucks all of them so they all have to get tested (and treated).

But yeah, I'm really not sure what the point is. I don't think there is really much of a narrative aside from just showing their lives and the random things that happen. For example, you see them trick two guys into driving them to the beach and then they bury those guys in the sand while they go run around nude in the ocean. Every so often, you get treated to some black and white still shots of the dominatrix, which were taken by some famous Japanese photographer. Some look good... some are just ok. I guess each one shows a different side of her. Some are definitely not flattering, which is probably also the point.

The film isn't poorly made or anything. Looks a little dated probably because it needs a better DVD transfer, but it's fairly well shot, the lighting is fine, no obvious glaring continuity mistakes, etc. And it's entertaining. I wasn't bored. There's another subplot about a Yakuza guy who is under tons of pressure from his job so he always goes to see the dominatrix. It's definitely different, and all the nudity and sex will keep your attention. I guess it's good the movie doesn't give you some clear moral message since it lets you form your own conclusions, but I wasn't emotionally moved by the story or truly invested in the characters, which you wouldn't expect from something like this anyway. I suppose the filmmaker just wanted to show the lifestyles of these people, and it is interesting, but it seems a little hollow (maybe that is the point?). Oh well, what the fuck do I know? I'm writing a blog about the boobies so yeah, I'll shut up now.

Boobs, boobs, boobs, I like boobs. I should write songs.

Look at the guy's face... awesome.

Fucking different guys montage. Best...

... montage...

... ever.

I like water.

Beautiful Hunter (1994)

Sorry kids, this one sucks. "But the cover is awesome!" I know, I know, but the movie still sucks unless you're into weird pseudo-Christian cults and some fucking bizarre fisting torture.

Just look at this picture:

That's how Beautiful Hunter opens! With some creepy priest guy putting his hand up to a little girl nun! That is literally the first scene! It starts in a church. And then...

Every little girl nun needs a gun... making that rhyme
is about as bad as this film. Please, little girl, kill us both
and save us from this movie.

Yep, it's that bad. And dumb. Incredibly, incredibly dumb. But there's nudity right? About 5 min in, you do get treated to the boobies.

Mirrors rule.

Sadly, the boobies can't save this movie. You have to contend with a boring ludicrous plot of a news reporter finding out about the secret religious cult's assassin but then they turn on her since she won't kill him. And when a deadly assassin has a pistol pointed at you, that's a good time to magically rip off her shirt so you can go down on her... uh... yeah.

Don't worry, she still has the gun pointed at him.

The action is pretty weak too. She shoots people. They die. No awesome squibs. No exploding heads. Just some blood on the floor.

Offscreen deaths? Major fail.

But you do get the lead girl masturbating with her pistol... uhm, what!?! That's hot, right? Not really. Just weird, and weird is pretty much the running theme of this movie. Somebody has some strange fetishes. Oh, and the cult religious guys are watching her do it.

You actually can't see the gun here, but it's down there,

and as wrong as it is, she does look pretty hot here.

So she calls the main priest guy "father," and he's watching (well, he's blind) listening to her masturbate while his buddy next to him actually watches. Yeah... this movie has some "issues." As if that wasn't clear enough, they have her "father" grope her a couple scenes later. "Father" is mad since she's in love with another guy. Sorry, not what I want to see.

Oh nature, filled with such--look Earl, dem der people fuckin in dat der grass!

But you get quite a bit of nudity and sex as compensation. As I said, it's not enough to make the movie good, but you might keep watching. Then you get to the really weird part... yes, it gets weirder.

Never understood the appeal of fisting, and just the word itself is gross,

but if you're going to do it, might as well use a taser, right?

So yeah, I would avoid this one. A little too strange. The main actress is attractive, but the movie is so far out there that it just comes off as silly, and it's predictable too. Watch Beautiful Beast instead or Striptease Samurai Squad or a cow eating some grass. Anything but this.